is your mom at the bar?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
