I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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