Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
