I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you will always have a special place in my vag
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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