super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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