Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
