i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
