I heard we made out
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
