Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
