Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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