I want to stick my p in your. b.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
