Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
