She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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