hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
