Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
