I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
