somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
