I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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