I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
