I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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