awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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