Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
