Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
