Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
