Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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