It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
