I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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