You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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