I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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