we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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