Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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