UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I need a beard to bite.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
