It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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