Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
nutella sex= disaster
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
