dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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