Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
