I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize