I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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