No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She bit a glass in half.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
