Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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