Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
