90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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