Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
