Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
