4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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