everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
