I just pynch a tree in the face
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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