Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
