i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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