I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Alive.
So much puke
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
