i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
