I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Enjoy the penises
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
