Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize