We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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