i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
