that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
even my farts smell like vagina
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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