nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize