I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
