I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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