dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
