Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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