well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
