At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
