strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize